50 quick ways to save money this Christmas!!

We could ALL do with saving a few extra pounds this time of year – so here are 50 quick and easy ways we can all save a little extra cash this Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!!!

(1)Shopping around for cheaper prices on CDs and books doesn’t have to mean pounding the high street. Comparison sites such as www.find-dvd.co.uk, www.find-book.co.uk and www.find-cd.co.uk will do all the legwork for you.

(2)Before buying anything, see if there are any discount codes for that online store by checking out www.myvouchercodes.co.uk for money-off vouchers and promotional codes.

(3)Rather than buying gifts for all your children’s friends, which can quickly add up, arrange a Secret Santa. Get together with the other mums and draw names out of a hat so everyone has to buy just one fixed-price present.

(4) Instead of of exchanging pricey gifts with your loved one, why not agree to buy a couple of stockings and pack them full of small but more thoughtful gifts? Set a limit of, say, £10 per gift and put the fun back into deciding what to get each other.

(5)Buy in bulk. Look out for three-for-two promotions on gifts from now onwards on the high street to save cash. And remember that smaller, independent stores can be more flexible on price.

(6)Searching for gifts on eBay can lead to major savings but always check the product description to make sure that the item is new or as-good-as.

(7)When shopping online, make sure you buy everything you need in one go to save on postage and packaging.

(8)Why buy when you can swap? On community websites such as www.freecycle.org people give away things they no longer need – from TVs to bicycles.

(9)Shopping online for branded toys like Zapf Creation dolls and MB Games can save you a bundle. Try www.thetoyshop.com for great savings.

(10)Hate buying pressies only to see them cheaper two weeks later in the January sales? Hold off buying high-street clothes until the last minute, as many shops now start their sales the week before Christmas.

(11)Free samples or trial-sized products from upmarket cosmetics counters can make top stocking-fillers for girls.

(12)Gift shops are filled with mugs stuffed with chocolates in the run-up to Christmas but it’s much cheaper to buy cute mugs and your own pick ’n’ mix.

(13)Treat a loved one to an evening to remember – watching one of their favourite TV shows being recorded. For free tickets, see www.bbc.co.uk/tickets.

(14)If you’re buying scent, make sure you get the best deal on your bottle – www.cheapperfumeexpert.com will compare the price across most online perfume shops.

(15)Santa Claus should go and check out www.stocking-fillers.co.uk. It has great gift ideas, from as little as 10p.

(16)Your time is valuable and can make a thoughtful gift. Give fun, hand-made tokens for cooking a favourite meal or giving a massage, which loved ones can redeem when they like.

(17) Buy a large clip frame and fill it with lots of photos of your family and give one to grandparents, aunts etc. Personal gifts like this mean far more but cost next to nothing.

(18) A subscription to a magazine is a gift that keeps giving all year long. Super-cheap deals are available online and can halve the cost of buying it in the supermarket. See www.magazinesubscription.co.uk.

(19)If you’re buying for a lady with expensive tastes, check out www.asos.com for cheap versions of clothes she’ll have seen on her favourite celebrities. Or head to http://www.theoutnet.com for discounted designer clothes.

(20) For an unusual and personal gift, www.cartoonme.com turns photos into hand-drawn cartoons for just £3. Print it out and frame it for a present that’s guaranteed to make them smile.

(21) Make a personalised calendar featuring your fave photos, see www.bonusprint.co.uk. You can create a desktop or wall-hanging version from just £3.99.

Get cards and decorations all wrapped up

(22)Plan ahead – if you send your Christmas cards before December 18 you can send them second class and they’ll still arrive in time – saving you a packet, (postal strikes allowing).

(23)Or avoid postal strike worries and send an e-card. You might not be able to put it on the mantelpiece but they’re free, eco-friendly and can be personalised. Try www.ecards.co.uk.

(24) Wrapping paper is another item to buy at the last minute, as many shops start discounting Christmas merchandise just before the big day.

(25)Cut out the cost of wrapping completely by looking for high street and online retailers that offer free gift-wrapping. You’ll save money, time and your pressies will look fab.

(26)There’s no need to buy posh gift tags. Simply cut a small square of wrapping paper and write your message on the back.

(27)Old Christmas cards also make great gift tags. Just cut the picture off the front of the card, add a loop of silver string and write on the back.

(28)Advent calendars are an unnecessary expense when there are plenty of free ones online that kids will find just as fun. Just type “online advent calendar” into a search engine and you’ll be amazed at the range.

(29) If your little ones can’t do without a sweet-filled advent calendar, then make your own by sewing 24 pockets on to a piece of fabric shaped like a Christmas tree. Then fill each pocket with a penny sweet. After Christmas, fold it up and keep it for next year.

(30)Fake trees are cheaper than real ones and can be reused year after year. Argos does a great range starting from £9.99 and you can get one complete with decorations for just £12.99.

(31) If you prefer real trees, buy them from markets rather than garden centres or flower shops. If you go just before closing time at the end of the weekend, they’ll be anxious to get rid of their stock, so you should be able to haggle the price down a fair bit.

(32)Woolworths was always an essential stop for cheap festive season necessities. But just because it’s not on the high street any more doesn’t mean you have to turn to more expensive shops for your tinsel – just visit the online store at www.woolworths.co.uk.

(33) Choose plastic baubles over glass ones. Not only are they cheaper, they’re also sturdier and more likely to last for years to come.

(34)Price comparison sites aren’t just for books and DVDs – at www.pricegrabber.co.uk you can compare the price of festive decorations, too.

Travel on the cheap

(35)Book your ride home NOW! If you’re going by plane, train or bus, the journey will be much cheaper if booked well in advance.

(36)Be flexible – train fares are always cheaper outside of peak commuting times so if you can travel around lunchtime you’ll fork out less.

(37)For great deals on cheap travel and fun days out, visit www.lastminute.com or www.expedia.co.uk.

(38)If you don’t mind delaying your celebrations, why not travel on Christmas Day? Especially if you’re taking a long-haul flight – you’ll save a bundle.

(39) Always compare prices before booking any flights – www.traveljungle.co.uk makes it quick and easy.

(40)A festivebreak doesn’t have to mean snow or sun. Travel companies bump up the price of holidays to Lapland or to the Caribbean but you can still enjoy a cheap city break to a less traditional but equally fabulous destination such as Paris or Prague.

Try thrifty food ideas

(41)If you can hold your nerve, leave the grocery shopping until the afternoon on Christmas Eve – this is when shops start to seriously discount food.

(42)Don’t take the kids with you when shopping for Christmas food, as when confronted with all the festive goodies they’ll want everything and you’ll find it hard to say no.

(43) Think carefully before being sucked in by three-for-two offers on expensive brands. Do you really need that many mince pies or would one box of the store’s own brand do just as well?

(44) Compare the price of what’s in your trolley at www.mysupermarket.co.uk – it will show you whether you’d be better off shopping at Asda, Sainsbury’s, Tesco or Ocado.

(45) Don’t be a sucker for packaging. Buy own-brands and value ranges for the basics such as vegetables and crisps – on a pretty plate no one will know the difference.

(46)If you fancy a Christmas meal out with the family instead of cooking, look for half-price restaurant deals on www.toptable.co.uk.

(47)Turkey meat is usually cheap but at Christmas shops bump the price up. Why pay more for it, when a roast chicken or roast beef will be just as tasty? Alternatively buy turkey portions, which work out cheaper than a whole bird.

(48) If it simply isn’t Christmas without a turkey, don’t buy one bigger than you need – allow about 0.5kg per person.

(49)Don’t waste your money on buying sides and desserts that you don’t like, just because it’s traditional to have it on the table.

(50)Ready-made trays of nibbles and cheese boards may look appealing but think how much you could save by just buying the nuts, fruit and other snacks individually and arranging them yourself.

Put-downs and Insults

Call me bitter, but I just love a good putdown!

Here are some of my faves…

You do sure have a lot of Well-wishers. They’d all like to throw you down one…

Somebody said to me that you ain’t fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception

I hear you’re connected to the Police Department – by a pair of handcuffs…

Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

I heard when you were a child your Mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

Why don’t you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

Everybody has a photographic memory. You simply don’t have the film.

You’re about as good lookin as a cross between the Elephant Man and a Pitbull Terrier..

You! Off my planet!

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?

Whilst every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!

You’re the kind of man that is a blueprint for building an idiot.

I’d like to leave you with one thought…unfortunately I ain’t sure you have anywhere to put it!

Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent.

Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?

Excuse me, is that your nose, or are you eating a Banana?

When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?

You’re so bent you make roundabouts look straight!

I’ve seen better hands on a leper!

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

You’ve got more chins than a Chinese phone book!

I’ve come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

You’re a habit I’d like to kick — with both feet.

So now we know why some mammals eat their children…

Quiz Show Answers

Classics (on The Weakest Link, BBC One)

Anne Robinson. presenter: What was the principal language used by the ancient Romans?

Contestant: Greek.

Geography (on In It To Win It, BBC One)

Dale Winton, presenter: Alderney and Sark – are they part of the Channel Islands?

Contestant: Ooooh! Is that the English Channel? I don’t know, are there islands in the English Channel? I’ve never heard of any. France – that’s near the English Channel, isn’t it?

General Studies (on Wogan’s Perfect Recall, Channel 4)

Sir Terry Wogan, presenter: “Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?

Contestant: Hazzard.

Music (on LBC, 97.3 FM)

Presenter: What name does Cat Stevens go under now? I’ll give you a clue, he became a Muslim…

Contestant: Abu Hamza.

Maths (on The Weakest Link, BBC One)

Anne Robinson: What kind of dozen is 13?

Contestant: Half a dozen.

Politics (on Viking FM)

Presenter: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?

Contestant: George Bush.

Books (on celebrity edition of University Challenge)

Jeremy Paxman, presenter: Of all Beatrix Potter’s books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?

Antony Beevor, author: Peter Rabbit

The Arts (on 2CR FM)

Presenter: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?

Caller: Leonardo Di Caprio.

Film Studies (on Radio 2)

Steve Wright, presenter: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Caller: Jesus

History (on BBC Radio Merseyside)

Presenter: What was Hitler’s first name?

Contestant: Heil.

You know you’re getting old when….

You know you are getting old when…..

everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt

doesn’t work…!

~~~

You know you are getting old when…

“Happy Hour” turns out to be a nap !!

~~~

You know you’re getting old when it takes you all night,

to do what you used to do all night !!

~~~

You know you’re getting old

when you sink your teeth into an apple

and they stay there..!!

~~~

You know you’re getting old….

when your back goes out more often than you do !!!

~~~

You know you’re old when you can’t get your rocking chair started..!

~~~

You know you are getting old

when it feels like the morning after

and you haven’t been anywhere.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you look forward to a DULL evening.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when the best part of the day

is over when the alarm goes off.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when the little old gray-haired lady you

helped across the street is your wife.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you get winded playing chess.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you go into the next room

to get something, and

can’t remember what you came for.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you have too much room in the house

and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you know all the right answers but

no one asks the right questions.

~~~

You know you are getting old when you

look into the mirror and are shocked to

see that “old person”

looking back at you.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when the gleam in your eyes is from the

sun hitting your bifocals.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you move your bed closer to the bathroom

because you spend half your night there anyway.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you relate to everything on this page.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you remember when

Queen Elizabeth was a Princess.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when you tend to repeat yourself…

tend to repeat yourself.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when your children begin to look middle-aged.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when your friends don’t ask how you fell

but where you hurt.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when your pacemaker opens the garage door

when you see a pretty girl.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

~~~

You know you are getting old

when your little black book contains

only names ending in M.D.

~~~

You know you are old when your

doctor is the same age as your grandson.

~~~

You know your old when your

youngest starts collecting Social Security !!

~~~

You know you’re gettin’ old when

you’re not as good as you once was but….

your as good once…as you once was.

~~~

You know you are growing old

when you find yourself

laughing at this list !!

~~~

You know you are old when

your doctor look like

Doogie Howser.

~~~

You may not be able to turn back the clock,

but you can wind it up again !

~~~

Young at heart,

slightly older in other places !!

~~~

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation

from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

~~~

You’re never too old to enjoy your childhood.

~~~

You’re not old…you’re chronologically gifted…!!

~~~

You’re only young once but you can be immature forever !!

~~~

Youth is a gift of nature.

Middle Age is a work of art !!

~~~

Youth is wasted on the YOUNG !!

The Bees Knees

I don’t understand the big deal over ‘bees knees’. I looked at them under a microscope, nothing exciting!

Some funny one liners to brighten up your day…

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Politicians and nappies need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the lamp post.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.

I’ve finally got  my head together but now my body is falling apart!!

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

I can resist everything except temptation.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

Born free, taxed to death.

Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them..

It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the ******.

Someday is not a day of the week

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

The road to success….. Is always under construction.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. [Oscar Wilde]

Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

How to Live Life…

Because there is a big difference between living and merely existing…

• Educate yourself until the day you die. – The time and energy you invest in your education will change your life.  You are a product of what you know.  The more knowledge you acquire, the more control you have over your life.
• Take good care of your body. – Your body is the greatest tool you’ll ever own.  It impacts every step you take and every move you make.  Nourish it, exercise it, and rest it.
• Spend as much time as possible with the people you love. – Human beings are emotional creatures.  Family and close friends makeup the core of your emotional support system.  The more you nurture them, the more they will nurture you.
• Be a part of something you believe in. – This could be anything.  Some people take an active role in their local city council, some find refuge in religious faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in, and others find passion in their careers.  In each case the psychological outcome is the same.  They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in.  This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives.
• Excel at what you do. – There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right.  Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies.  Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.
• Live below your means. – Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Always live well below your means.
• Be self-sufficient. – Freedom is the greatest gift.  Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.
• Build a comfortable, loving household. – Home is where the heart is.  Your home should be comfortable and lined with love.  It should be a place that brings the whole family together.
• Always be honest with yourself and others. – Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless.
• Respect elders.  Respect minors.  Respect everyone. – There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
• Mix it up.  Try different things. – Seek as many new life experiences as possible and be sure to share them with the people you love.  After all, your life’s story is simply a string of experiences.  The more experiences you have, the more interesting your story gets.
• Take full ownership of your actions. – Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
• Over-deliver on all your promises. – Some people habitually make promises they are just barely able to fulfill.  They promise perfection and deliver mediocrity.  If you want to boost your personal value, do the exact opposite. Slightly under-sell your capabilities so that you’re always able to over-deliver.  It will seem to others like you’re habitually going above and beyond the call of duty.
• Listen more.  Talk less. – The more you listen and the less you talk, the more you will learn and the less you will miss.
• Focus more on less. – Think in terms of Karate: A black belt seems far more impressive than a brown belt.  But does a brown belt really seem any more impressive than a red belt?  Probably not to most people.  Remember that society elevates experts high onto a pedestal.  Hard work matters, but not if it’s scattered in diverse directions.  Focus on less and master it all.
• Exploit the resources you do have access to. – The average person is usually astonished when they see a physically handicap person show intense signs of emotional happiness.  How could someone in such a restricted physical state be so happy?  The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have.  Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.
• Savor the natural joys of simple pleasures. – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the best things in life are free.  They come in the form of simple pleasures and they appear right in front of you at various locations and arbitrary times.  They are governed by Mother Nature and situational circumstance and captured by mindful awareness.  It’s all about taking a moment to notice the orange and pink sunset reflecting off the pond water as you hold hands with someone you love.  Noticing these moments and taking part in them regularly will bring unpredictable bursts of happiness into your life.
• Reflect on your goals and direction. – Not doing so is committing to wasteful misdirection.  The process of self reflection helps maintain a conscious awareness of where you’ve been and where you intend to go, giving you the ability to realign your trajectory when necessary.
• Leave time for spontaneous excursions. – Sometimes opportunity knocks at unexpected times.  Make sure you have enough flexibility in your schedule to respond accordingly.
• Be here now. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

Coined a phrase!

Who coined the phrase, ‘coined the phrase?’

The Fridge

Do you ever constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Rock-a-bye baby

Why do we sing “Rock a bye baby” to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?